Impulsive
by Reiras
Summary: Kain reflects on all the times Ruka's been impulsive and the consequences of those actions.


Impulsive

 _i._  
"Will you be joining us?" it's a simple enough question with a simple enough answer during a simple time in their life. He blinks a few times, not wanting to answer straight away.

"Akatsuki?" she looks confused, thinking maybe that maybe he didn't hear her. Quite the contrary, he just prefers to think about major life decisions for longer than a few moments. He sees the eagerness on both his cousins faces and sighs.

"Yeah, I guess." After all, he is about eighty-percent of both their impulse control and he also received an invitation.

 _ii._

He tries his hardest not to think about it. The sickly sweet smell of her blood, the sight of her crumpled on the floor, the way she feels when she's limp in his arms. Tries to suppress the raging jealousy mixed with the usual undertones of disappointment. All he can manage is a kiss on the forehead.

 _iii_.

It had gone exceptionally badly, He rubs his sore shoulder and tries not to imagine what he looked like being tossed over Zero Kiryuu's shoulder. Always the negotiator.

Always the one being punished. Never the one doing to crime.

He'd tried to talk them out of it. A witch hunt against Zero Kiryuu; truly what good could come? "Don't come then." She'd spat at him. As if that was ever an option when she's involved. She's sitting opposite how now, embarrassed.

"How's your shoulder?" she asks but won't meet his eyes.

He snorts sighs and shakes his head, "same as always."

 _iii._

He had once admired her utter fearlessness but now it just exhausted him. Seeing her literally throw herself at him also doesn't help. He acts quick enough to get to her but not to Hanabusa. The slap echoes through the hall, a sound they are all well accustomed to by now.

Daughter of Souen. Son of Aidou. His reason for being here. His reason for joy and for despair. Hi kin.

It's not the last time he'll save her tonight

 _iv_.

He felt so far from his academy days. So much had changed; he'd changed. He felt colder now, exhausted truthfully but he didn't have time to be exhausted. He glances at her, the only constant in his life, completely silent but deep in thought. Her brief exchange with Yuuki-sama had obviously deeply affected her, though how deeply he could have never anticipated.

In the two seconds he'd taken his eyes off her she'd leapt, gracefully as always, between Kiryuu and Kurans outstretched sword. The shock left him numb for several seconds before dread set in. "Ruka!" He doesn't even remember where they are, why they're there. He focuses only on the wound at her side and the incredulous amount of blood beginning to cover not just her but him as well. The smell is unbelievably overwhelming; almost choking him. Almost.

The dread makes way for anger. Red hot anger. Overpowering anger. He truly has nothing left to lose.

"It's my fault for acting so impulsively." He almost laughs. Almost.

 _v._

She's perched opposite him; the table separates them by mere metres but truthfully they've never felt further apart. "Is something wrong?" She asks when she notices him staring. He almost scoffs. Is anything right?

He keeps a straight face and sips from his glass, "No Ruka, nothing is wrong." He can feel the growing resentment and see's it in the way her eyes narrow ever so slightly when she looks at him. They sit in silence each staring awkwardly at nothing, he tries so desperately not to look at her.

Truthfully, they had both grown resentful. When Yuuki-sama has reached out in a panic; shocked, confused and with child Ruka hadn't hesitated to do what Ruka does best. Act on impulse.

And now here they are. Playing house with a pregnant pureblood sleeping upstairs that they both currently loathed to different degrees. He did feel guilty about it. He didn't hate Yuuki but was hardly grateful that she'd completely upended his life. The days were long and the nights even longer. Constantly checking and doting on woman who had yet to comprehend the gravity of her own situation.

It was difficult for all three of them for similar yet completely different reasons. Each experienced love and grief in different ways; anger, disappointment and indifference. Upstairs, Yuuki begins to stir and Ruka sighs heavily.

 _Don't look at me like that_ "I hate it when you look at me like that."

And for a split second he thinks she knows but doesn't let it show, only cooly replying, "I don't know any other way to look at you."

She huffs and stares at the floor in irritation. He supposes he should angrier but he can't overcome the crushing numbness of late. He finds it incredibly hard to be upset with her, he always has. Even when she makes a mess of things because she does so genuinely. Only Ruka Souen would react to the pregnant lover of her unrequited love by offering her a home for the next half a decade. Only Ruka Souen would care for and guide the same women through her own grief and depression as if it was her burden to bear.

He chuckles lightly to himself, even at her darkest Ruka was a striking ray of light.

 **AN:** lmao fam does anyone even read vk fan fiction anymore? Anyway, as the self-appointed president of the Ruka Souen fan club and possible the only bitch on the planet that still cares about Rukain i'm throwing it back with some vintage Rukain feels. I haven't written anything in literal years so if anyone actually reads this i'm sorry.


End file.
